How to Watch the Golden Globes (Without Really Watching)

I asked my Mother to record the Golden Globes for me on Vibe. She only recorded the Red Carpet coverage on E. Mother fail.

Within a couple of Google searches though, it's possible to extract all that's good about the awards show without having to sit through it. The host tries to make the awards show not so boring and long, failing that, he will predictably make a joke about how the awards show is boring and long. I found more entertainment value looking through the internet coverage afterwards. Where else can you find Justin Bond, The Mistress of Shortbus tweeting throughout?

Ricky Gervais | Golden Globes 2012

Speaking of the host, Ricky Gervais, it was good to see him return. Last year he hurled insults at his employers and Hollywood's elite. He did exactly what he was hired to do. Crack jokes. The surrounding controversy was nothing more than when people who keep tigers as pets but complain when they bite. What made last year so effective though was that the people in the room weren't prepared for the "roasting" he gave them. This year, they were. It was weak.

What's so wonderful about the Golden Globes is that they truly are a meaningless accolade, unlike the Oscars. I maintain that the Oscars has an impact on careers and box office so they're not entirely meaningless. The Golden Globes don't even have an impact on the Oscars as ballots are due days before the ceremony.

What I like about the Golden Globes is that they're the ONLY televised award show to give their top prize to The Social Network, but let's not open old wounds.

It's also an opportunity to see people that I like win awards. My faves were Downton Abbey, Martin Scorsese, Christopher Plummer, George Clooney and of course Meryl Streep, not for her performance, but for her speech.

If you're ever in a situation where you've missed the Golden Globes or all your attempts to watch the awards shows have been ruined by your Mother, I've compiled a list of internet alternatives so you get the best without the rest.

1. The full list of nominees and winners are on IMDB.

2. You can watch Ricky Gervais' opening monologue on YouTube.

3. Gawker always picks out the best bits of the ceremony, like Meryl Streep's acceptance speech, these bits, this bit and this bit.

4. Pick out a few acerbic bloggers and read back over their tweets. My faves are @nathanielr, @mxjustinVbond and @joereid.